What Are Your Terms?

I watched a lot of the Winter Olympics. But what stayed with me weren't the performances — it was the interviews. Here's a quote I loved:

"These titles are huge, but I don't want them to overshadow who I am and what I do and what I am all about... Winning isn't all that, and neither is losing.”

This was Alysa Liu, the 20-year-old figure skater from Oakland who won gold in Milan.

At 13, Alysa became the youngest woman to ever win the U.S. Championships. She won again at 14. She had coaches hired and fired by her father, adults choosing her music, her costumes, her schedule, dictating what and how much she ate. She was a prodigy on a path she never laid down herself.

Then, at 16, she quit. Not a pause — she posted it on Instagram and walked away. She said she felt trapped. She flew to Nepal and hiked to Everest Base Camp. She lost her skates (literally misplaced them) and didn't bother looking.

When she decided to come back at 18, she called her former coach. He grabbed a big glass of wine and spent three hours trying to talk her out of it. Other skaters had tried comebacks. It almost never works.

She didn't flinch.

She came back with a list of non-negotiables. She wanted to choose her own music. She wanted a say in the creative direction. She wanted to eat what she wanted and rest when her body needed it. These weren’t preferences. They were conditions for return.

And then she won the 2025 World Championship. And, now, Olympic gold — the first American woman to do that since 2002.

In her interview afterward, she said: "I'm so intentional now. I'm so grounded. Everything I do has a reason for why I do it.”

How is she so cool, clear, and intentional at 20 years old?

I know what you might be thinking. That's great, Jo, but I can't take two years off from my job.

Fair. And some of you didn’t get to choose your break on your terms. But here's what I think Alysa's story is actually about: she didn't come back because the sport changed. She changed. She figured out what she needed and had the courage to say it out loud before she laced up a single skate.

I took a cue from Alysa and started my own list. What I've settled for. What standards need to be in place so I don't compromise myself. What part of my work energizes me and what my environment needs to feel like so my next thing isn’t just the next thing — it’s the right thing.

Thought for the Week: What are your non-negotiables — the conditions you need to operate at your best? When's the last time you said them out loud?

If you want to feel something today: Her coaches’ reactions to Alysa’s gold-medal skate